pain, pain go away come again another day!

welli am still in pain from the mid to top 1/2 of my body.

i know if is not the swimming as i went again on saturday to try and stretch it out, but no ease up on it.

the whole top of my spine, shoulders andhards hurt. have been maxining out on codeine and spending time in bed alot.

slept friday afternoon but not saturday or sunday afternoon. have had unsettled nights as well at weekend not being able to get to sleep.

am runing out of gabapentin so having to ration them out so don;t think that is helping.

that it for now, pain really wears you out mentally, tried to go on wii stepp for 6 mins yesterday but legs too heavy.

hydrotherapy seession 3

well it is now friday had dhyro on weds and am in agony from top 1/2 of spine and wrists.

did new twist and push exercises with float and felt so well after last session i did a few more - teach me to show off.

went swimming after with leo took sausage in seb did stuf with leo felt ok then but been in agony since max. out of codeine etc and heatpacks in bed even hands hurt that it for now.

weight gain

weighed myself on the wii last night as i down at myself and think i look like when i was pregnant with the kids.

i have put on 8lb in 3 months. looked through my record over past year and half and i have put on 11/2 stone, a stone in a year then 1/2 stone in past 3 months.

need to serious watch myself.

i try and exercise but i suffer so much fatigue after short periods of activiity and need to rest for a couple of hours that i spend more time horizonal than i do vertical.

will try and be more active and try and do abit more housework but using the "pacing"method and watch my diet more carefully.

don;t think i eat much but have been conscious of weight and trying to eat less carbs but that just makes you feel hungry so am making an effort to eat cereal in a morning to fill me up and watch what i eat during day.

i am often too tired to prepare meals though, even a bowl of cereal if sseb has gone to work - so will try harder.

yesterday had a couple of cereal bars, toast for lunch then potatoe wedges and homemade burger for dinner and a banana and small handfull of choc m&ms and 2 plain biscuits that is really it.

did 30 mnis on wii 2 x 6 mins on wii step and 20 mins of yoga - will try to do 30mins exercise everyday.

sooo tired after holdaiy though didn;t get up until 10.30am. my whole body feels tired and ehavy.

scotland

have just come back from a lovely week in scotland.

it took 2 days to get there and back as we had lots of breaks and stayed in a hotel both ways.

i was up the 1st night in agony but was so pleased to be travelling again and i had instigated the holiday so did not want to complain.

we finally got to scotland about 3pm and had a lovely caravan where i crashed out on the settee whilst the others unpacked. normally it would have been me planning and organising everything. got some leaflets from reception to plan our week.

on teh 2nd day we went to a lovely castle an hours drive away we parked in disabled bay and walked the short distance to the castle and there were lots of benches around for me to sit on. in the castle i took it at my own pace and sat and read the liteature whilst the kids moaned i was slow. the castle was really child friendly and had hid little lego pieces for the kids to find and keep them amussed. cuzean castle ayrshire a great find. after the castle we sat outside and planned our next move the cafe with a view of the sea.

after that we got in the car and drove the the play area and i sat by the swan lake whilst the kids had a play. there was a lovely beach i found as well.

we went home and decided to come back the next day as it was so good. the 3rd day we got a boat to the isle of arran and it was a great adventure. they had bar/lounge areas where i laid out on the settee to rest my back instead of having to sit up.

when we got off the bus, there was a bus stop at the ferry port so we got an open top bus the the castle, i struggled upstairs but was not dissappointed as it was like a white nuckle ride going along with the wind in our hair and sweeping closely past all the overhanging trees.

the holiday made we realise that if i accept this condition i can still have the life i use to love and travel and go out more instead of staying in the house all the time laying on the settee thinking tomorrow i will be bettter. any level of pain is worth it to go and enjoy lifes experiences than stay inside afraid to try anything to avoid pain. a mobility scooter would allow me to reserve my energy to enjoy places rather than using it to get from a to b so on the 3rd day i did not go in the castle as i was too tired adn in pain.

i can still enjoy the life i had if i accept what i have with adaptions and then maybe myt family will help to accept this too.